There are 2 types of Douchebags I'm talking about.

1) The jackass that shushes me when I'm talking on my phone or to another person.

Hey, idiot...It's not a library, IT'S A BOOKSTORE!  It's a goddamned retail outlet, it isn't your personal study area.  This mofo is sitting at a table in the bookstore with 43 different texts in front of him, trying to do a research paper or get a new mortgage.  Is he even going to BUY THOSE BOOKS?!  Chances are, he isn't, but he feels like Borders is his own little haven, his own little study area.  They have libraries, genius, but the trendy bookstore isn't one.  I'll be quiet in the library...wait, no I won't.  You know why?  Because I don't go to the library, I BUY MY BOOKS A FREAKING BOOKSTORE!

2) The snotty little bastard who works there.

I realize that you think that, because you work in a place that has tons of literature, you're smarter than the average person and on a higher thinking level than most.  But, you know what?  You're still a cashier in a bookstore.  I don't need you to sigh when I ask for help or seem inconvenienced that I took you away from sipping your Latte to get you to make me MY FREAKING LATTE!  Once again, this isn't a library, it's a retail store.  The idea is to get all those books OUT OF THE STORE, not keep them there.  You being an asshole is only going to keep them there.  Not the mission.

There is no shame in being the cashier in a bookstore.  But that's what you are so do it and don't make me out to be the asshole for expecting it.  I also don't need you to roll your eyes at my selection of magazines I buy or if I'm reading the latest mass-produced, popular novel.  There are people who think they're really cool because all they read is obscure books by obscure authors.  Guess what?  They aren't.

...And why the hell don't you have 5 copies of "The Ultimate Bachelor's Guide" in stock?