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Thursday, 05 January 2006 00:00 |
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The assbag who orders 94 different things at McDonald's Drive-Thru Window You're just dropping in for a quick cheeseburger or something off the dollar menu, but this douchebag has to pick up lunch for the entire soccer team/construction site/office/study group/convention/after-school class/druken ass party/group of friends. Not only is he doing this at the supposedly "quick" Drive-Thru window...he's got a million different things he wants done with each order. So, 20 minutes later, after waiting for the 37 "no pickles", the 23 "no ketchups" and the 9 "no bun" orders, you've forgotten what is was you were doing there in the first place. Hey, buddy...not only are you too annoying to go inside and order your enormous smorgasboard...you're Today's Douchebag. |
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Last Updated on Monday, 28 July 2008 19:07 |
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Monday, 19 December 2005 00:00 |
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The Big SUV driving douchbag who bullies everyone on the road when it rains/snows. Four Wheel Drive doesn't make you invincible and does NOT mean that you can drive at any speed on the highway no matter the conditions. And going thirty miles over the speed limit in bad weather doesn't make your penis any bigger. Accept it. I, personally, love to see SUV's stuck in a ditch on the side of the road...especially if it's a Hummer. |
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Last Updated on Monday, 28 July 2008 19:21 |
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Saturday, 22 October 2005 00:00 |
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That Really Loud, Annoying Guy at the Gym. We get it, dude. You like to work out. You lift really heavy weights. This dipshit likes to scream when he's pumping iron. After all, the weight is heavy. That and, if he doesn't scream, you won't notice him at all...and he can't have that. He wants you to see him every time he slams the weight down and grunts like a fuckin' caveman. He wants you to know that he's probably bigger than you and, even if he's not, he works harder at the gym than you ever will. Chances are pretty good that he only partly knows what he's doing and would probably be in better shape if he concentrated on working out instead of showing off...but that's not important. What's important is that he LOOKS like he's bigger, badder, better, and more important than everyone in that gym. He's a real man. And a total Douchebag. CONGRATULATIONS! |
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Last Updated on Monday, 28 July 2008 19:06 |
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Monday, 04 July 2005 00:00 |
(Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.) Stand-up comedian couldn't save PistonsWell, shoot. This was supposed to be about the Detroit Pistons' victory parade Monday, but I stood along Woodward all morning and didn't see a single player. Instead, let's go with the Red Wings, as filtered through a former Hooters manager from Woodhaven who's now a stand-up comic from Washington, D.C. Ward Anderson was the headliner Thursday at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak. It was a tough night to be any business without a large-screen television and a beer tap, and an even tougher night to be a comedian.
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Last Updated on Monday, 28 July 2008 19:06 |
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